Elle me rend patraque mais je l’adore !

J’adore ma fille mais être réveillée par elle au milieu de la nuit plus d’une fois dans la semaine alors qu’elle a 4 ans commence à me rendre patraque. Mademoiselle est dans sa période difficile pour manger et a un appétit d’oiseau si elle ne voit passe qu’elle aime dans son assiette. Forcément au bout de quelques jours, ce changement commence à se remarquer par ces réveils sonores et chanteurs au milieu de la nuit. C’est à ce moment que Mademoiselle veut papoter et refaire le monde, sérieusement et puis quoi encore !?!?? Elle me fait mourir de rire 🤣 même si je sais que je vais ressembler à un zombie le lendemain.

D’ailleurs, je suis réveillée depuis une demi-heure et je commence à émerger lentement de mon état de comateuse réfléchissant à ce que je peux faire pour retrouver mon mojo. Faire du sport pour booster mon énergie, méditer pour rester zen et concentrée ? Hum, hum je pense que je vais faire les deux pour commencer ma journée d’un bon pas avant de partir en formation pour apprendre les avantages d’Excel 2013.

Bonne journée à tous !

Un message pour nos hommes : Nous voulons être soutenues pas jugées

C’est vraiment quand vous vivez en couple que vous réalisez que les hommes et les femmes sont programmés  complètement différemment. Nous les femmes, on nous apprend à aider, soutenir, à créer un cadre, un environnement familial ou on s’assure que tout est organisé, planifié et anticipé… du moins on essaye du mieux qu’on peut à gérer beaucoup, beaucoup de choses entre les enfants, le rangement, le ménage, les vacances, la rentrée des petits, les visites chez le pédiatre, l’organisation des prochaines vacances, les activités scolaires des bouts de chou BREF on n’arrête pas ! Ajouté à cela nos projets au boulot, nos ambitions d’être entrepreneur ou d’avoir une promotion, la coupe est très facilement PLEINE.

A côté de ça, nos hommes essayent de tenir le coup mais souvent par défaut. Certains sont excellents pour le rangement, le ménage et compagnie, d’autres c’est vraiment une autre histoire ! Je pense, le pire c’est quand ils se permettent de donner leur avis, la petite remarque, la petite remarque incendiaire qui va vous faire sortir de vos gonds quand vous tentez de tout jongler avec dextérité et courage. C’est toujours à ce moment-là que vous avez un besoin irrépressible de secouer votre mari ou d’exprimer votre frustration quand celui qui est censé vous épauler est en train aussi de vous juger. Bon pour donner des leçons, des avis mais ne bouge pas d’un iota pour faire avancer les choses, pour agir. Pourquoi ? Vous n’en avez aucune idée jusqu’au moment fatidique où il va se retourner vers vous et vous dire : ” Je te l’avais dit, je m’en doutais…”

Nous ne voulons pas de jugements supplémentaires, de remarques déplaisantes ou de commentaires complètement à propos, nous voulons être aidés, soutenues dans nos choix et avoir un homme qui retrousse ses manches pour nous épauler : pour s’occuper des bouts de chou, pour nous aider dans notre business, pour proposer des idées, des solutions.

Oui, des solutions, du pratique, du clair, du concret et à ranger derrière eux, ne pas se comporter comme s’ils étaient encore chez leur mère. Pourquoi, mais pourquoi les femmes vivent exactement la même chose dans leur couple ? Toutes celles à qui je parle me confirme que les hommes sont des BIG kids. Je sais qu’il y a des exceptions et heureusement ! mais réaliser que ce que je vis est la plaie, la prise de tête d’un bon nombre d’entre nous me dépasse, me laisse sans voix et surtout épuisée.

Au lieu de finir en victime et laisser couler, j’ai décidé de prendre les choses en main :

– partage des tâches ménagères ou une femme de ménage qui passe à la maison 1 fois par semaine

– partage des tâches administratives et des rendez-vous chez le pédiatre

– partage de toutes les autres tâches parce que je ne suis pas une Wonderwoman

– un dinner en amoureux par mois

– aider mon homme à aller à la gym pour décompresser et se débarrasser de sa fatigue nerveuse là -bas (au moins 3 fois par semaine)

– partir en vacances pour recharger les batteries et profiter du bon temps toujours présent en Septembre

– et surtout communiquer, communiquer, pas une discussion autour des bambins ou du travail, poser les bonnes questions pour les pousser à exprimer leurs sentiments et dire ce qui ne va pas !!

Reste à voir maintenant si ma stratégie va porter ces fruits !

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Je l’entends rire et c’est la plus belle chose au monde

Je l’entends rire et ça me fait chaud au cœur. C’est comme une avalanche de joie qui descend sur moi et je ne peux m’empêcher de sourire. Ma fille est heureuse et c’est la chose la plus importante pour moi. Une fois qu’on est en weekend et que le soleil brille de mille feux,  on ne veut que ça des bulles de bonheur, de joie et de lumière qui se multiplient pour vivre, vivre, pleinement vivre.

Si mon rôle est de la rendre heureuse, la protéger et être un modèle pour elle, alors être mère me va comme un gant parce que c’est le job le plus dur et celui où on apprend énormément sur nous-mêmes, sur la vie et sur nos forces et faiblesses.

Sa joie réaffirme mon choix de vivre dans la joie et de me concentrer sur le positif, de voir plus haut pour prendre du recul et apprécier ma vie tous les jours avec mon amour de fille et mon homme. Bon week-end à tous !

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Being A Mummy Is A Rollercoaster But We Love It !

I don’t know what got into her but she decided to do her vocalisations at 4am and I was lucky to be already awake. You think, of course, that I will manage to put my bundle of joy back to bed with a good cuddle and a lullaby ? you get it wrong… because my daughter is 4 years old now and she can say NO in different ways: by going back to bed but play hide and seek under the duvet or, or decide to be the future Adele…!!

Let me tell you, THIS is something not mundane for us mums. We are more ready, able to handle the situation graciously but it’s still taking time to recover from it. This did not stop me to do my Tam workout this morning but I listened to my body needs : only the beginner workout today.

I still need to manage my day and carve out some time to have a siesta today, I really need it, Ivam going surely to have this siesta with my bundle of joy in my arms, I love her so much ! Have a good day beauties !

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The Dilemma of Motherhood and A Renewed Sense of Appreciation

Time was my ally during this break where I focused on myself, my family and friends. I was thrilled to be on my own, to have plenty of time to do whatever I wanted to do. I kept in touch with my hubby and bundle of joy with Skype. However I didn’t expect that my daughter seeing my face on a screen and not next to her will make her so sad. She didn’t want to have cuddles from her daddy, wanted to be alone to cry. It broke my heart when my hubby called me for help and I could hear her in the background…completely heartbreaking.

Knowing her sadness to do not have me around really makes me wonder if it wasn’t better for her to do not see me for a few days instead of realising daily that I wasn’t with her which will worsen the situation. Most of the books for parents advise to keep in touch with our children, what I totally agree with. But in this case, I noticed more the negative impact of this guidance than anything else and decided to do not call her via Skype. I spoke with my best friend which confirmed my opinion, not an easy decision for us mums but when they are babies or toddlers, they are not aware of the concept of time.

Let me tell you that I was looking forward to seeing my daughter and my hubby. My bundle of joy was excited and happy to see me and I learned from her daddy that her sadness bubble vanished when she didn’t see me via screen. In a nutshell, a real confirmation that I made the right decision.

Additionally, when your energy levels are fully restored, you can’t wait to share it with your loved ones as well as appreciate even more what is your family life. I felt grateful everyday for the blessings I have in my life and going on holiday is a revelation to embrace even more the concept of appreciation.

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A Time for me Where Time is my Ally, not my Enemy

At last ! Yes, I am coming back in France for a few days and I cannot wait particularly because this time, I am travelling alone, like a single person on my own. No kids, no hubby and I am thrilled by it. Because it is one break I need. To recharge my batteries. To embrace this “me time”, to see my family and friends.

To rest and sleep for hours without interruption. And you know WHAT ?I do not feel ANY guilt about it because I love being a mum, a wife but ultimately I like being a woman on my own. Enjoy simple things. Being alone with my thoughts. Use this time to reflect, think and live in the moment with no stress, no pressure, no deadlines. A time for me where Time is my Ally, not my Enemy.

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Meditation And Self Care, My Saviors To Find Back My Balance

Always my savior when things unravel,  when I can feel that I am getting impatient, snapping, reacting instead of observing and act accordingly.

Yes when I feel that my inner patience is not attainable, I  know that I need to meditate, to become centred, more aware and see what are the real reasons of my increasing impatience.

Sometimes like yesterday it’s just the feeling to juggle so many things that lead me to lose my cool. Between work, food shopping, play and look after my bundle of joy, prepare the dinner and find 5 minutes to eat, I really felt that setting up boundaries is necessary to keep my sanity…and meditate to get back my dear balance.

In these moments,  we really need to stop running and this is what I did. I sat down and ate, I took the time to do it and my daughter got it and played alone for a few minutes…and this is only what I needed, a few minutes for myself to slow down for awareness and mindful eating. I also wrote my gratitude list and by doing so, I realised that I had a fantastic day and it was only depending of me to keep it that way. We have to make the choice either to run or to stop. In my case, stopping multitasking was the best thing ever because it was unproductive and self destructive for my self esteem. But this is where we all have this ability to get back on our feet, focus on the positive, be grateful and see clearly what our life is : extraodinary, exciting, challenging with so much love.

So if you feel like you are losing control, stop what you are doing, take a break, meditate, go outside, do something you love and write your gratitude list. I am 100% sure that you will feel much more better after this well-deserved break for your self care.

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Ask for Help, You Would Never Regret It

Yesterday, I saw that asking for help is the best gesture to do when you feel at loss and overwhelmed with anger, irritation and bloody frustration. My bundle of joy decided to organise a samba party until 11pm or midnight to wake up in the middle of the night to request my attention. Obviously used to sleep deprivation, I managed to be Wonderwoman for a few weeks but now I can feel my demeanour gradually changing.

So, after my anger levels went to the stratosphere, I just spoke to let go of everything : lack of everything, too much to cope, to handle, need a break, enough of stupid emails, of the lack of professionalism of some people, of a serious lack of sleep. And, this is where the magic of communication operated. By opening up, I let show my humanity, my ability to be vulnerable, lost and tired.

And, all of us we can be empathetic i.e understand the issues of others, put ourselves in their feet. And when you ask for help, everyone wants to help you. In one day, I received so many good piece of advice that I have plenty of options/strategies for my daughter to be in the arms of Morpheus in a timely manner.

I feel so much better now, especially relieved and reassured that I am not the only mum to struggle with sleep routine for my baby. So, the lesson of it is whatever is bothering or concerning you, let it go by speaking about it. It will save you tons of worries, headaches and overanalysing. I am grateful to have received so much help in a short period of time when I take the courage to ask for help.

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The secret to see my daughter sleeping in less than 10 minutes !

I found the solution. My daughter is keeping on my toes everyday. She is seeking my attention constantly and sometimes I am just craving some time for myself, after all I am just a human being, not a Wonder Woman !

What I did is having quality time with her mixed with various activities : soft play, going to the zoo, going to the beach, watch Walt Disney movies, messy play, water play, dance and music to keep her occupied… because she is eager to learn, to give a try to new things and explore unknown territories daily.

What really occurred to me is going on holiday (countryside) and sleeping in coton flannel sheets is THE secret to see my daughter fall asleep in less than 10 minutes and THIS is the 🍒 on the 🎂 to have some “me time “to the end of the day knowing that I did my best for her to be happy everyday.

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